Guilty Pleasures
by Troublesome Dragon
Summary: The Cullens have a family showdown after an unfortunate incident revealing everyones guilty pleasures. Who would have know there was more to avoid than just humans? Doe, lamb, bunny, and duck anyone?
1. Wolf

**Disclaimer: I don't own the twilight series. I just came up with this random twisted idea from a review.**

**Well, I was reading from my favorite author's list and I was enjoying the little one shot minding my own business. I noticed one sentence that I read wasn't right. I read it again. The author did not just say that. The author said that Bella's favorite meals are wolves. I thought that's is a slap in the face for Jacob. I read the reviews to see if anyone else noticed. A review made me laugh. It went something along the lines, "What are you thinking? REMEMBER JACOB?" I figured that she should have at least felt bad about that at first. So I decided to make a story where she ate a wolf and did feel bad about it. The rest of the ideas were my candy high brain having fun for the rest of the one shots. **

Wolf

An earth shattering howl erupted as blood flowed in the whipping frigid wind. All I was

aware of was the blazing desire to feed from the sweet, zesty taste as fresh as the forest. My

breath caught as I came to my senses. Oh, no. It didn't happen. I could not have done that to to . .

. I could hear _him_ laughing in the background. Absentmindedly, I growled at him. It wasn't

funny that I did this. "Bella." Realizing my agony, he stood covered in snow like a stoic statue,

come to life, original intent to console. However, he couldn't keep a straight face as he looked at

me. Collapsing on the floor, he cackled like a hyena. I pinned him to the ground. My burgundy

eyes etched a warning if he laughed at this one more time. The blood on my chin dripped on him.

Edward continued laughing so I got up. Hopelessly, I sat down tucking my knees to my chin. I

ate a wolf. The first meal I hunted, and it was a wolf. A few of my memories were already fading.

I did not think they would fade this fast. At least, I still remembered Jacob. The memories I

desperately clung to were of him and Edward.

Guilt, this was the strongest emotion that I had felt besides bloodlust since I had been

turned. I looked at the marred remains as remorse flooded through me. The irony, the fact that I

had been afraid of drinking Jacob dry, and I had blatantly attacked a wolf of all the bloody things

to turn up when I lost it. I couldn't help it. The lone, slender, gray wolf was the first thing that I

saw, and it smelled delicious . . .

I dry sobbed since stupid tears don't come anymore. It wasn't Jacob. It wasn't Jacob. It

wasn't Jacob. Having a mental break down, I started rocking back and forth. Edward stood up

from his wonderfully unhelpful fit on laughter. Flecks of snow fell from his form as Edward

came to me, concerned eyes bore into mine. He hadn't expected me to react like this. I

recognized the frustrated look. He was trying to read my mind. Futility, I'm still immune to his

power. I ignored him continuing my chant.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Do you still want to go to

Antarctica? There are no wolves there." He said sincerely lifting me up. He started kissing my

neck carefully so not to drink the blood there, should I break down again at the sight of it. I

smiled at him. "No, could you stop me next time I go after a wolf? I don't think I can handle this

again." Relaxing, now that I had calmed down. A mischievous glint in his eyes appeared. " I

tried. You're stronger than I am right now. You really wanted to eat it. I'm not one to deny you

anything." I looked at him with a new worry burning in my molten eyes. "So, are you saying that

you couldn't stop me from attacking a human?" His eyes grew serious. " No, I can, and I will if I

have to. I just didn't think it necessary to stop you from . . . " I cut him off. "You let me eat it."

My voice was shrill in anger. He flinched. "How would you feel if you ate a little baby doe?"

A perplexed look crossed his face as nothing in his long years could make him see why

eating deer was such a big deal. "A baby deer?" I explained with a determined glare.

Annunciating every word, "Edward, could you eat that baby doe if it had chocolate eyes like I

used to? " Orbs of honey dew widened at the insight, too late to stop the brewing storm. With

every word, I moved closer my entranced prey, lifeless. "Fragile like glass so easily shattered."

Dramatically throwing an enormous mountain of snow in his face, Edward blinked otherwise

unmoving. What did he think? I was a giant t-rex that wouldn't respond to movement. Hunching

down, breathing on his face, I purred seductively my voice like satin. " Not even having the sense

to move when the lion comes near because the tiny deer's giant chocolate orbs are simply frozen

from the intensity of its eyes." Edward lost all patience at standing still.

Grappling my arms like iron chains, the arch angel furiously entered my mouth like lava

incinerating my insides. Cold body convulsed hot to the touch, a near impossibility. An arsenal of

butterfly kisses was launched at my neck. Fogged thoughts crossed my mind. Wasn't I upset

about something? The lips of my personal angel lingered near my ear as his voice held eternal

promise. "Never again."

Jovial shivers sporadically filled me which had nothing to do with the weather. Every day

was spring for me nothing crossed my granite skin.

Consoled from the unfortunate incident, I hoped that it would never be mentioned again.

The lone cabin stood in the never-ending expanse as far from civilization as a new born like me

needed. The lock clicked as the living room was strangely empty. Freezing, it was too quiet.

Emmett lived here for Carlisle sake. Too late in my comprehension, I shrieked. "It's a

trap." Bursting through the front door, the whole family circled us with knowing eyes cutting off

our exit. My heart sank trying to drown itself in stomach acid. They knew. Emmett ran at me like

a kid at Christmas. "I got you something." Suspiciously, I opened the crudely wrapped package.

Obviously hurriedly bought from thousands of miles away after stupid fortune telling, vampire

shared her little giggle. Edward let out a raging growl. The warning came to late as I held the

seemingly innocent plush toy. Emmett even got the fur tone right, russet. The wolf's beady eyes

sent me an accusing glare. Edward was already wrestling Emmett on the floor. I went to a corner

sitting cross-legged hugging the wolf for dear life rocking back and forth. Rosalie snickered from

the love seat while Alice and Jasper laughed uproariously at the whole situation. Carlisle and

Esme had wisely left for a while taking anything fragile with them.

Crashing, yelling, and laughter continued, I gathered from my delicate hearing. Turmoil

in my mind prevented me from deciphering the words. I don't know how long I stayed in that

corner. Desperate shaking disrupted the silence of my mind. "Bella! Bella, snap out of it!"

Allowing myself to be lifted up, Edward tenderly guided me to the couch. We sat there in

staggered silence. No one had realized how long I had been in the corner either. They finally

sensed that bloodlust wasn't the only obstacle I would have to overcome. For a while, the lull

lasted. Alice spoke up, no longer standing the silence. "How about a game?"

Everyone eagerly agreed. Forty broken game consoles later, we decided on board games.

Thirteen Twister related "breaks" later, we decided on hide and seek. This went on until the only

thing that was not broken or off limits was the VCR. "You still have that ancient thing?"

Surprised that anyone besides my mother and I bothered keeping it, I fingered through my hair

previously braided by Alice. A wry smile formed on Edward lips as his hand moved across the

room which was covered in series of broken fragments of fun. " As you can see love, our family

goes through a number of items. Surprisingly, game consoles come and go but no one smashes

the VCR." Nodding, I figured from the tone of his voice like the Volvo this was an item which

you don't break if you don't want face the wrath of Edward. Fingers traced the title of Romeo

and Juliet sure to put me in a better mood.

Too late, wicked with a dark smile and mischievous glint in his eyes, Emmett spoke.

"Anyone wanna watch Bambi?" A resounding crash followed, we turned to see Edward

portraying the perfect picture of innocence, broken VCR at his feet. " Let's enjoy the lovely

weather." The blizzard falling heavily outside, left no room for doubt that the crumpled heap on

the floor was no accident, the family all stared. Seeing his plan failing miserably, he snatched

Romeo and Juliet from my waiting hands. Alice retrieved a spare VCR setting it up. Edward

slipped the tape in. No one said a word in fear that they would end up like the VCR. Edward

never deliberately destroyed the VCR.

Emmett's loophole allowed teasing without scarring my eternal mind. Now, they were

after Edward. No one was really watching the movie. My ears were burning from all the plans

formulating in hushed voices. My powers to learn any secret was dizzying as their plans buzzed

in my head. I should find out what they are up to but at the moment my brain couldn't take it. I

blocked out my power, grateful for the silence. Alice giggled now and then as said plans crossed

her finely tuned sight. Edward stiffened slightly ever so often, occasionally growling. Sighing,

the family wasn't going to let the matter drop were they?


	2. The Doe Has Nothing on Him

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just give the characters in them guilt trips.**

Ch 2: The doe has nothing on him

_Fifty years later_

If I'd never seen Bella, I would call this the worst kind of torture. Of course, no torture is

worse than being denied her in soul or blood although I'm finally released from ever feeling that

again. This brought me back. Quietly, I stood inches away from brown orbs. Tilting its head, it

looked at me questionably. The doe stared completely unaware of where my mind was heading,

already my teeth were lacing themselves with venom. As I looked at the doe, my mind wandered

to what led to such an ominous event. No one mentioned Jacob or the wolf incident. I kept her

well away from any wolves after she broke down. Determined to shield her, no one dared

breathe a word about it whether in good humor or not. I made sure of that, and they understood

although Emmett kept a file about wolf eating jokes under the bed incase it was ever okay to

mention it again. That didn't protect me however, no one forgot about my new affliction about

eating deer, especially Emmett and Jasper.

The jokes had started small, barely a prick at my nerves. When at first I was still hoping

that the whole episode would blow over, the very next day after the affair a plush of a doe lay

limply by my door, the exact same prank they pulled on Bella. Only much worse, the deer's head

was severed opened, the cotton dyed to look like blood was spewing from its throat. Not only

that, they were being careful because Bella had gone hunting only minutes before. She'd never

know. Wearily, I proceeded to put the doe swiftly under the floor boards where it would join its

wolf buddy although I carefully sowed its head back together so Bella wouldn't notice, the

twisted end of the prank. She came to visit the little wolf occasionally. I was satisfied by the fact

that this was less frequent now. It didn't stop there. Every time the TV was on they would be

watching Bambi, no matter how many times I destroyed the idiotic tape. I curse the person who

invented ebay. Then of course, there were the poems.

_As the lion takes a bite_

_The doe satisfies his appetite._

_Oh but what will he say to his wife?_

_She's bound to take his life._

_I hope she remembers not to use a knife_

_Because we know it's a strife_

_To use it to kill a vampire's afterlife._

I was positive Emmett wrote it. Only he would devastate me with limericks.

Wherever we went, always Jasper and Emmett found new ways to torture me. So

naturally, I was opposed to hunting with them alone with their ceaseless antics. This teasing had

been going on for decades, for Carlisle sake. It had slowly frayed my nerves to the point Bella

couldn't call me dear without me flinching. Unfortunately, fifty years had passed an acceptable

amount of time for Bella to be closer to humans. Why was I dreading this? Because I would have

to be on guard to keep Bella from hurting anyone? Shamefully, this was not the case. Because

we were entering a climate where actual white-tailed deer were accessible. Inevitably, I had to

hunt with them alone.

As a result here I am, a deer inches from me. If I escaped eating this one, Emmett and

Jasper had ordered fifty baby deer on the internet which were sprinkled along this forest.

Already, this was my third encounter with one, none eaten thankfully. Still, it never ended. I was

getting thirsty, and I couldn't risk fully surrendering to my instincts since we weren't that far

from town. Futilely, I ran hoping I could find something anything that wasn't a doe.

Then, I stopped abruptly. I should be more careful of what I wish for. A lamb with wool

as soft as cotton now stood before me, barely yards away from the previous doe. Is this some

sort of sick joke? I will kill my brothers for this. My eyes were dilated leaving me close to the

point of a total blackout of conscious thought. There was a choice to be made. I would have to

kill one or the other. The lamb or the doe?

**

* * *

****"YOU KILLED THE STUPID LAMB?" **Bella shrieked unhappily. I winced as she 

yelled. Apparently, I made the wrong choice. I couldn't kill the doe with those brown eyes. At

least physically the doe held more resemblance to the human Bella. Metaphorically however, ...

**"So you'll eat the lamb but not me? What is wrong with you, was I not good enough **

**to eat? You're a monster. How could you?" **She would have been crying if she could. Why did

I make so many bloody metaphors? Let's see I can't eat deers, lambs, or baby seals. That's not

so bad, I know for the next time to risk taking a human instead. Bella looked ready to kill. I

gulped, if there was a next time.

Alice, my new favorite sibling, defended me.

"I think you're being a little irrational, Bella. You didn't want to die that way remember?

Besides he was set up by Jasper and Emmett and by that time, confused. If he were thinking

logically, he would have eaten the doe." She glared at me to emphasize that I chose wrong.

"I guess you're right, Alice." Her anger had considerably lessened. Apologetically, She

smiled at me.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, Edward. It was just the shock of it really." She didn't

convince me. Since her transformation, Bella had become an excellent liar, only her eyes gave

her away. When I looked at her honeyed orbs, I saw that she was disappointed and heart broken.

Something vital came back to me.

_"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb . . . ," I murmured._

"_What a stupid lamb," she sighed._

_"What a sick, masochistic lion..." _

Idiot, I thought to myself. Actually, it was even that much of a conscious choice. The

lamb made a sudden movement, and I lunged, almost too completely out of it to think straight.

"I'm sorry, love. Would you like me to let you stab me with a pencil?" Remorsefully, I

hugged her, rubbing her backside to comfort her. Her eyes narrowed.

"You read my diary." She whispered accusingly. I had adamantly pressed for her to write

down her human memories so she would have a way of referring back to them. They were

written in segments. The part where she first met me was lovingly called _Twilight._

With that, Alice expertly steered the conversation from my unscrupulous conduct. My angel

was still very sensitive toward the subject. However, when Bella had safely forgiven me, my

objective returned to revenge. _No one messes with my lamb. _


	3. Mr Cuddlebuns

1**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I just help psychologically torture Jasper. How? You'll see.**

One week later

_Alice_

I didn't want to do this, but he had left me no choice. After all, I had waited patiently for

this little war of theirs to be over for decades. However, he had gone too far. Really, I expected

this from Emmett not from him. Wasn't my husband, Jasper, supposed to be the sensitive one?

I'm appalled that he would go this far with Emmett. It had frayed the last of my nerves. Things

fell apart slowly. Esme and Carlisle had moved out of the house because Emmett and Jasper had

destroyed their infinite patience. Esme accidently went into the shower where Jasper and

Emmett had placed a dead deer expecting Edward to shower soon. As they speeded away,

Carlisle had yelled that they would come back when we all stopped acting like children.

Everyone that was left in the house was a nervous wreck. Edward had not relaxed for even one

second after the lamb incident. So as a result, Bella had kept bursting into nonexistent tears

randomly because she thought that the whole mess was her fault for lunging at the wolf. I really

regret telling everyone that and starting this prank war. Then of course, Edward being Edward

blames himself because he turned her into a vampire in the first place. When will he let that go?

Frankly, I was tired of this stupid cycle. Thankfully, my time had come. Last week, brief

images of eccentric plans had flashed through my visions. I knew such elaborate and drawn out

plans could only be Edward's so I had approached him. Now, an agreement had been drafted.

Letting me handle Jasper, Edward would handle Emmett. At first, I had been planning to let the

matter solve itself. Well, plenty of decades had passed before I thought to act against him, he

had his chance. Jasper was going to pay. In my hands now lay the key to our family's

emotional health, Mr. Cuddlebuns, the bunny.

As I petted Mr. Cuddlebuns, my family returned in unusual good spirits after hunting. So

no foul play had occurred today. Everyone was laughing and in general harmony. Good,

Jasper wouldn't suspect a thing. Jasper's laughter stopped when he saw what was in my lap.

"No, it can't be. This isn't happening." Jasper whimpered. I smiled cruelly.

"Oh, but it is Jasper. Do you remember Mr. Cuddlebuns, the bunny?" I said in an over the top

accusatory manner. Bella stared in horror.

" Jasper, what did you do to the original Mr. Cuddlebuns?" Her power had already informed

her of the details but she was really after a confession. She was near bursting into mythological

tears again.

"Nothing. There never was a mister Cuddlebuns." He said fiercely.

"Admit what you did to the original mister Cuddlebuns or better yet show them." I

shoved the black and white bunny in his face, a replica of the original.

"No! Why do you haunt me with that Ghost bunny? " He was backing away toward the

door.

" Admit it!" He was ready to crack, and Edward and Emmett were close to breaking into

hysterical laughter.

"What did you do?" Bella was practically shrieking.

"Fine. I admit it. I ate the original Cuddlebuns!" Jasper sank to his knees. His face

scrunching in agony.

"No." Bella wailed. Then she realized something which I hoped she wouldn't realize.

"Edward, you told me Mr. Cuddlebuns ran away." She accused.

"Did Jacob really run away?" She said threateningly to Jasper. Deciding to return to culprit,

he had confessed after all. Bella didn't give him a chance to respond.

"Did you eat him too?" Bella had riled herself into a frenzy.

"No! Why don't you ask Edward? He's the one with a motive!" No one was using their

indoor voices anymore or their brains apparently. Jasper was panicking so unfortunately everyone was.

Edward couldn't lie smoothly like he usually could.

"I didn't kill Jacob. He really did run away. I wasn't lying to you to cover up his horrible murder." He

murmured smoothly. I really had doubted it before now. At least, we all dodged a bullet.

" Edward told me to eat your bunny" That little . . .

"WHAT? ARE YOU ALL TRYING TO KILL ME THAT IS NOT FUNNY EMMETT!"

Well this is a disaster.

"Why Edward? Why?" Bella whispered almost inaudible to even vampire ears.

"We were leaving soon. I didn't want you to kill it and you were so insistent on keeping

it." Jasper's panicked mood was still affecting him. Idiot.

"IT! His name is _Mr_. _Cuddlebuns_, Edward. You're the one who wanted me to take care

of an animal in the first place so I could have the human experience. You couldn't give Mr.

Cuddlebuns to Angela or someone, instead of arranging for Jasper to kill Mr. Cuddlebuns."

Jasper was sneaking out of the room.

"Oh, your not going anywhere. You decided to kill Mr.Cuddlebuns." She had quieted

some after her outburst.

I sneaked out of the room before Edward decided to strangle me. I started to wonder how

Edward would teach Emmett his lesson because now Emmett had something on almost

everyone.

**This was stuck in my head for a long time. I'm glad that I finally wrote it down. By the way I doubt the person who asked a question will reread this but the Jacob thing was a random idea of humor I had. No bunny's were hurt in the making of this one shot. Well, it is more of a short story now. Alice gave the bunny to a little girl. **


	4. Bear Cub

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I simply tore at their mental stability.**

_Two weeks later_

Jasper, Bella, and I all sat with our heads in our hands on the couch wondering what the next onslaught from Emmett would be. There was no escape from this torture.

Rosalie walked into the living room confident and smug.

"Well, if it isn't hungry like the wolf, here comes peter cottontail so let's runaway from the bunny trail, and Edward ate the little lamb. All of you are acting like whiners. They were just animals. Bella isn't all that matters to you two is that you ended up together, not that Edward ate a lamb or that you ate a wolf which isn't even the same color as your mutt. Jasper, Bella forgave you, and Mr. Cuddlebuns II is doing just well with that little girl."

Everyone nodded but still looked depressed.

"It's Emmett reminding you constantly of your mistakes isn't it?" We all nodded again.

" You all need to be slapped and snapped out of it. You don't see me crying over any animal, their nourishment so we don't eat humans. Get over it." She said condescendingly while walking away.

We all looked at each other and smiled.

"Let's get her off her high horse." My velvet voice seeped with promise.

A few hours later, we led Rosalie to the forests on the guise of wanting to hunt. She stopped running when we got to a huge clearing.

" Edward, what is that?" She pointed to a well placed black bear cub.

"A bear cub." She furled her nose in anger.

"This is not going to work." Rosalie crossed her arms in refusal.

"Oh but it is." Bella appeared from the forest. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

" See the bear cub playing over there. Doesn't it remind you of Emmett?" Her eyes widened slightly, but she denied any connection.

"Strong and playful like a little black haired boy." The blonde beauty backed away.

" Don't hit below the belt, Bella. I told you that in confidence." She puckered her lips unhappily.

"Fine. If this isn't affecting you, kill it." Bella said passively. Rosalie was not one to be played. She marched up to the little cub which looked up at her curiously. Rosalie stepped back but remembered she was proving a point and tried again.

She dipped her head to bite its neck. The little black bear pawed her shoulder and made a low whine. Rosalie put her face in her hands and walked away.

"Okay, you all win. I can't kill the little bear. It's too Emmett-like." Now every one of us stood in the clearing, gloating. Bella spoke.

"Come to the dark side. We have cookies." Rosalie laughed proceeding to smirk.

"I'll help with your plan, Edward, but I'm not eating cookies." I considered a moment.

"Why do you assume I have a plan?" Rosalie put her hands on her hips.

" Because you always have an elaborate drawn out plan, Edward, Emmet has done you and Bella the most mental damage. So, I deduced from there that you would be apt for vengeance. Do you need my help or not?"

I smirked because that apparent quality is what kept me from death with the Volturri.

"Yes I do, but please help me simplify my plan because right now it involves tarring and feathering your husband." Musically, she laughed and agreed.

**I orginally wasn't planning on adding this part but I like where Rosalie compares them all to songs so I added it.**


	5. Impasse

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series. I own Mr. Cuddlebuns that Jasper killed and Mr. Cuddlebuns II.**

**Jasper: "I did not kill that bunny. I was framed! Why must all of you writers make me look bad?"**

**Me: "It's okay Jasper. Bella forgave you. Didn't she?"**

**Jasper nods head and looks about to cry. Alice appears out of nowhere to hold him and gives me a 'don't do this again' look.**

**I nod while crossing my fingers.**

The Impasse

One month later

My face was in my hands from the stress. I really should be the one put in an insane asylum, not Alice, since I've had so many mental breakdowns in the last couple of decades. Hey, I was driven there. No wonder, this family was the death of me. Not that, I wouldn't trade any of the good moments we shared since I've joined them.

Now, however, I was ready to kill Emmett. So, I approved of Edward's plan of revenge. Although I didn't exactly approve of waiting to make Alice suffer with Emmett's bunny pranks involving Jasper, actually, I rather enjoyed that. Now, I was not the only one bursting into tears repeatedly. Hmmm . . . I think that I'm being warped.

Well, no matter, the plan will be fulfilled today. All I have to do was wait. Then, my powers kicked in. I felt a buzz, letting me now my husband's elaborate plans. My smile would never leave my face.

I love him.

_

* * *

__Edward _

The Ferris wheel turned steadily, the children played crooked games that few really win, and for once, Emmett was staring ever which way a nervous wreck. The look on Emmett's face was marvelous. I was the hunter and he was my prey. What made this even better was he knew what was coming. When did I ever come to a carnival with him after all?

"Emmett, why don't you come into this tent?" My voice was sickeningly sweet.

"No!" Emmett screamed. Rosalie dragged Emmett kicking and screaming into the tent.

"If I had to go through this, then so do you, Emmett." Finally, she was able to make him enter the tent. Everyone in my family was snickering in the background as Bella wrapped herself around my waist. She whispered.

"I love you." Her eyes were shining ready for vengeance. I'm thinking all this was starting to warp her. Turning to her, I returned the sentiment.

"I love you too. After this, we are going on a very long vacation." I promised seductively.

Emmett came out of the tent perplexed and seemingly ruffled. I looked at him disgusted at his actions in there, but I led him back to the tent to explain so he would get the point. In the tent was the whitest most majestic horse I could find.

"It's a horse what is the big deal. I'm not sensitive like you and Jasper." Emmett said with air quotes. Jasper signals with his hands to burn him alive. I gave Rosalie her signal. Her voice was very soft and delicate as she explained.

" Emmett, you would kill this powerful, royal creature. With her stout supple haunches, her proud stature, and lavish beauty. Would you really kill her just to satisfy yourself? End her life in her prime as mine was ended. Oh, if that's the case, Emmet, don't expect to ride this mare any time soon." Her voice turned highly threatening by the end of her speech. Emmett went from hormonal to torn. He would be a laughing stock for being a hypocrite for the rest of our eternity or no longer on Rosalie's good side which would be just as painful and damaging.

"So, what is it going to be?" I stood there smug. At least, he had a choice in the matter. I thought it would be an obvious choice. However, Emmett was not one to abandon his machismo easily. There was a point he wanted to prove that the animal didn't matter. If we related an animal to everyone we cared for, we would starve or be a total wreck by now. So, Emmett decided to sink his teeth into the mare. Actually, it was what he was thinking of doing.

He charged the mare who incredibly looked accusingly at him. Right before the action occurred, he stopped and put his face in his hands.

" I can't do it. Laugh at me all you want, but I can't do it when it would hurt Rosalie's feelings. Not to mention, I wouldn't get any sex- a second cotton candy."

Leave it to Emmett to almost publicly mention sex in front of little kids. I'm not even sure where they came from, but they moved on in their little group. Rosalie hugged him and winked at him as a sign of approval. I blocked their thoughts as I've been mentally scarred enough in these past decades. Alice stepped up after all was settled with a grave look on her face. She was armed with parchment and ink.

"I think we have reached an impasse between the victims and the aggressors. A treaty has been drafted to prevent such a long and mentally debilitating prank war ever again. Will you all sign?"

Everyone nodded as no one wanted to fight anyone. I'm sure everyone was tired of dead carcases showing up everywhere. The first to sign was Emmett in giant handwriting. Once the treaty was signed, we all had a good time at the carnival.

On the Ferris wheel, Bella laughed freely as her feet dangled. However, soon, her brows knitted in confusion, something unsettling provoking her thoughts.

"What gave you guys the idea to not only place deer but also a solitary lamb in the forest? Was your plan from the beginning to have him lunge at the lamb?" Jasper and Emmett looked at each other also puzzled.

"We never placed the lamb in the forest. It was just a happ . . . sad coincidence." Emmett corrected himself. My fists voluntarily unclenched themselves. Bella returned to thinking again, and this time she asked me a question.

"Edward was there anything on the lamb like identification tags." Searching my memories, I saw the lamb again, and I recalled something that infuriated me at the time. Darkly, I glared at Emmett and Jasper.

"Yes, Bella, the tag said owned by Mary, but I thought it was a sick twisted joke concocted by Jasper and Emmett." They both shook their heads vigorously. Bella wasn't quick to judge. My sensitive ears picked up her power at work as I heard the nearly silent ringing in her ears which meant she had received secret information. She turned to me with a malignant smile so she was going to make me guess.

"What is Alice's first name?" Everything clicked. Why she was so quick to help me, her signing the document, and her look of relief when everyone signed. My eyes narrowed.

"Mary." I murmured sharply. Then, my eyes glowed with a new flame of vengeance.

"Who agrees that just this once we all brake the treaty to give credit where credit is due? Please say aye."

"Aye," Everyone said simultaneously.

* * *

The next day we all waited outside the hall. Everyone was informed to constantly change their minds on every little decision they made. Alice was deeply suspicious and nervous. 

She opened the door and screamed.

"No, not again. Never again." Jasper had not been informed because I wanted to see the look on his face when he found out which animal we picked.

"I remind you of a duck, Alice." He shouted indignantly.

**This is done. I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Now review all of you! **


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